the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
