I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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