you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
