It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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