so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
