You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize