Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
