I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize