Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
