This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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