You don't have asthma, your pregnant
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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