I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
