every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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