So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
