I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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