Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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