when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
