Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
