let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
