Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
