Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize