I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
