did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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