I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he fucked my hip out of place.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
