btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
