I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
