Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
