Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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