Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize