I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize