I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize