Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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