CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
no you cant smoke seaweed
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
