do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
