and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
