I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
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