they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
