oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
