i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
