Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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