drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
