the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think I won the penis lottery.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
