God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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