Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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