How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
