Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
