You really coming over, don't trick.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
its liver damage thursday
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
