YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Duck Duck Cougar?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
