I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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