What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
