She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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