We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
